Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Insight

I did write last week.  Didn’t get a whole lot done.  But yesterday I finished the chapter I’d started.  And I felt good about it.  Today I was sure I was going to begin a new chapter and I did.  But after two paragraphs I stopped.

I’m tired and irritable.  I don’t feel like writing at all.  The most I’m going to do is go back through what I have and change the name of one of the characters.  Thanks Word for Search and Replace.  And tomorrow I won’t be able to write.  Most likely not until next Tues.

Company coming.

What does it matter?  I can take all the time I want.  Still, I feel disappointed in myself today.  Knowing I wasn’t going to have lots of time for the next week I was prepared for this to be a good writing day. 

Part of it is because I don’t know where I’m going with this chapter.  This is a novel with two voices.  And this chapter is told by the hardest voice for me to write.  On another day it might be different.  I have the luxury to wait for that other day.  I’m not talking about inspiration.  If writers waited for inspiration we wouldn’t have many books in the library.

Maybe I have to think about this voice more.  I have to give the character a back story.  Usually I do that.  I write a backstory for my protagonist and I haven’t done this.  Not with either of them.  I wonder why I haven’t.  I think it’s time for me to take this novel more seriously.  Not change my schedule, but do the things I usually do.

Ah.  Because I have no illusions about publishing it I’m being lazy, I think.  I’m not respectful of what I’m doing.  So, okay.  It’s fine to not have illusions, to write on a more flexible schedule, but when I do write I have to be serious about it. Treat it like I have all my other novels.  And do whatever I do to make it work.  Backstory is one thing.  I find that important and helpful.  Unlike an outline which, if you’ve been reading this blog, you know I don’t do nor do I want to.

After writing this post I still feel tired and irritable, but I know a little more than I did.

3 comments:

pattinase (abbott) said...

My biggest problem is working on the novel and not on everything but the novel. It all amounts to the same thing. One is hard, the others much easier. Blah! How not to repeat myself over 250 pages. That's what I'm scared of.

MTA said...

Y think you take this novel seriously, otherwise you can not write.
You probably right about the inspiration for it is after it has passed that "sometimes" we can recognize, too often (and my first) we use this word to fill voids.
Bon courage.

Petitoune said...

Please keep trying ! It is such a pleasure to read your stories even in French traductions :)