Thursday, January 24, 2008

I Can't Do This

I know sometimes I hate what I’m writing but then it passes. Or perhaps I hate a certain writing day. This isn’t that. Once again I’ve started something that won’t fly.

I have the awful feeling that I can’t write anymore. Some part of me is fed up with the whole process. It’s not that I have to feel pleasure all the time I’m writing. That would be unrealistic. But I feel no pleasure at all. It feels like I’m simply hitting keys. Writing for the sake of writing because I’m supposed to be a writer.

No, I don’t want to change careers. I think I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to write. I know that I’ve always been a happier person when I’m writing, but not lately. And by lately I mean the last several years.

Is it because I know what’s going on in the publishing world? Because the chance of selling whatever I write is slim? I suppose these things could contribute to my not wanting to write, but I suspect there’s something else. I’m sick of it.

But I’m a writer. And real writers have to write. Yes, I’m a real writer. I’ve published many novels. I guess that makes me a real writer. Do other real writers stop cold? Get sick of it?

Many names of writers come to mind who haven’t published a book in years. Is this because they can’t get published? Or have they quit? And does it matter what other writers have done?

I can’t do it anymore.

11 comments:

Bill Crider said...

You don't have anything to prove to anybody. Writers might have to write, but they don't have to write for publication. Maybe you could write something that makes you happy but isn't intended for any market, just for fun.

Sandra Scoppettone said...

I never write for the market. It isn't that. I know some people look for the angles that might get them published, but that's not me. What I started I thought I wanted to write. I wish I could think of something to write for fun. But I think nothing would be fun, because I don't want to write.

Michael Haskins said...

Sandra, great minds think alike. I just went through the same problem and wondered if it was writers block or was my Muse hiding from me? Check out what I wrote: www.chasinthewind.blogspot.com and let me know what you think. I'd appreciate hearing from you on it.

easywriter said...

I guess you just need a break eh? A get away and breathe sort of break, sometimes we get so close to what we are doing that we can't see it, feel it, care about it anymore. Maybe a hiatus isn't a bad thing right? Then the writing you do could just be thoughts, impressions, ideas or even simply a list.

Jess said...

I'm afraid I know exactly how you feel. :(

scrimp said...

Dear Sandra: It aches, I know.
When I get to the point where you are, that I read what I have written and I think it just stinks to high mountains of crap and I want to break down and cry. What am I doing this? Maybe I can't write after all. Then I leave the writing and go to my other life for a week or so. I garden. I started an organic garden and I bring my produce down to the local farmer's market. I usually make about twenty dollars on a saturday morning. Big deal...but I have produced something other people with take into themselves. And then I go back to writing, always early in the morning when I have no distractions but my morning necessitaties, as my mother called them, and I read the adventures of my character and about 99% of the time I say: Hey, this is really good. And I go on. Because if I don't, then I know I will live the rest of my life with a hole in my heart.
Lyn LeJeune www.beatitudesinneworleans.blogspot.com

John said...

Where has the love gone? Sometimes a marriage just falls apart. You wake up one day and the love is gone. You can try to put it back together again, change your roles, spice it up. But a broken thing will never be the way it was.
It is time to walk free, run on the beach and find a new love. Who knows what you might find. It may even be writing.

Patricia J. Hale said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Patricia J. Hale said...

Wonder how it would be if a law was declared that you are forbidden to write. Would you sneak around writing?

Personally, I hate doing anything I'm supposed to do.

Gena said...

I sort of know what you feel like. I had something similar happen to me this year. I started to not like non-fiction writing. I'd been doing it for 10 years and started to feel burned out by it. Not to say you are feeling the same, but that's how I felt. So I started to write more fiction and felt more energized again. I remember when you posted about writing a short story and how energized that made you felt. Maybe it's time to do more short stories, if that gives you more pleasure. But I am of the belief that while writing is work it should ALWAYS give you pleasure. Anyway, I wish you luck!

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