Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Where Am I?

Last week I was in NYC.  I don’t get to go to big bookstores where I live so I went into a B&N.  Of course I headed to the mystery section which was fairly large.  I always look for myself first.  I didn’t expect to find any of my books except for the paperback of  This Dame For Hire.  Nope.  Nothing.  Nada.  I tried to tell myself it was because they’d sold out.  It didn’t work.  I knew that wasn’t true.  If they’d sold out why didn’t they reorder?

TDFH was my 18th published novel.  But where was I?  Not among all the other writers, some I’d never heard of, some self-published I was surprised to see.  I wasn’t the only working writer who wasn’t there.  Others were missing, too.  I’m not naming names.  But there were plenty of name brands, and why wouldn’t there be?

It was depressing.  Demoralizing.

I went back to work yesterday and did pretty well.  Today was a mess.  I feel like throwing the manuscript into the water and deleting all copies on my computer and back ups.  I know I won’t.  But I wonder how much of my discouragement is laced with my bookstore blues.

Still, I’m on page 178 and I feel I don’t know what I’m doing, where I’m going or who these people are.  My closest friend just told me she wishes she had a tape to playback to me because I always say these things. 

But this time it’s real.

 

13 comments:

pattinase (abbott) said...

TDFH is available at many of the Detroit area Border's bookstores. Our library has six of your novels on their shelves. You're doing great!

Pamela Milkweed said...

I see your books in the stores in Las Vegas, which is where I live.

Lénaya said...

TDFH and other books of you are availables in many library in Paris. I love your books, even if I have to read them in english, I buy one each time you publish a new novel.

Lénaya said...

I forget to tell you sorry for my english...
Frenchy girl !

Sandra Scoppettone said...

Thank you for your words of support. I really do appreciate it.

oncRN said...

for what it's worth, you take up almost an entire shelf at my house.

Gina said...

I discovered your books in Southend library and went on to buy your books at my local Waterstones. I regularly donate books to Oxfam - some books just don't stand up to repeated re- readings but I have kept all the Lauren Laurano books. TDFH is on my Christmas list.

tess gerritsen said...

Sandra,
michael palmer recently told me that "the quickest way for a writer to get depressed is to visit a bookstore." And he's right. We confront all those thousands of books and we're plunged into despair when we see how little shelf space our own titles occupy. And we wonder how anyone makes a go of it in this business.

While I'm on vacation, I try not to visit bookstores. Because it always leaves me feeling a little hopeless.

Sandra Scoppettone said...

Tess...thanks. That's good advice. Not positive I can follow it but I'll try.

For the record, in the B&N I was talking about there was an entire shelf of you under Literature.

Penny Crayon said...

I remember coming across one of your books one time in a university bookshop in Liverpool when I was with my Dad and fair to say at the time I had never heard of you (!) but the book looked interesting so I got it. It was the Lauren Laurano novel "Let's Face the Music and Die." I really enjoyed it. I went on to read the other LL books. A couple of years later I came across your website and I decided to send you an email explaining how much I'd enjoyed LFTMAD and I managed to get onto the topic of my girlfriend of the time and coming out to my parents and goodness knows what else I blathered on about!! In the email I was explaining that basically that first LL book I read stands out for me for being one of the first books I read with a lesbian character in it and it made me feel a lot better about myself. I didn't really expect a reply or anything I just thought it was cool to send you an email and I hoped that it got to you. A couple of months later you wrote me a really great reply back which contained some words of wisdom, a gesture which I really appreciated.

I am going to go and check which books of yours I have not read and go look for them when book shopping tomorrow.

Sandra Scoppettone said...

Hello Penny,
Thanks so much. It's doubtful that you'll find books you haven't read in England.

I'm sorry I took months to answer you, but glad you feel I gave you words of wisdom.

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