Okay. I admit it. I haven’t gone back to the novel. I haven’t even reread it to get myself up to speed. I don’t feel like it. I’m going away in July so I tell myself it’s pointless to get started again when I’m going to have to stop. Ridiculous. I’m going away for about ten days.
But then there’s this other thing. I’m getting a puppy the third week in July. How can I write while I’m trying to train a pup? Am I wrong? Can I do both? And how long will I be in that state?
I’ve always hated writing in the summer. In the past I’ve done a lot of reading during summer months. More than I normally do. That’s what I want to do again. Will I be able to read while training a puppy?
The last time I put aside a non-contract book I never went back to it. I have a sneaking suspicion this might happen again. I suppose if it does it does.
In my mind I loathe the book I started. Maybe loathe is too strong a word. Despise comes to mind.
I think I might be making a lot of excuses when I really don’t need to because I can do what I want at this point in my life and shuttered career.
Not writing today or tomorrow.
5 comments:
This sounds a lot like me as far as novel-writing. I wish I had nineteen books to look at on my shelf. Then I'd feel better about it.
This may be highly presumptuous, but I'm going to engage in some psychoanalysis.
You were instilled with a powerful work ethic as a child. If you aren't working, you feel guilty.
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Writing used to be your job, it fulfilled your compulsion to do something productive.
Writing is not a "real job" without being publishd and paid.
Publishing has changed to your detriment. You are no longer confident that your writing will be published. In fact, you suspect it won't.
Writing on spec is seen as a dead end. Why bother? Writing and its relationship with publishing now only carries negative emotional associations.
You now hate to write, yet you feel compelled to, since writing was the way you formerly satisfied your need to work.
You are caught in a classic approach-avoidance conflict.
You can try to find a new professional occupation, return to writing or do nothing and remain conflicted.
What kind of puppy?
Okay, I know we should be talking about writing, but actually, puppies are the biggest joy in the universe. I am envious, even though I have two dogs of my own and one of them has never grown up.
Write in the autumn, enjoy the puppy in the summer. Life is way too short to ignore a moment of pleasure!
I wonder if Mr. Winkler can come over to my blog and figure out what's wrong with me. I mean this in the nicest possible way.
Well he doesn't need to visit mine, I know what my problem is!
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