I hope my regular readers don’t abandon me while I’m in this state. I hope one day you’ll drop in and read that I’ve begun something.
Meanwhile, perhaps this tells you what can happen to a writer at my stage in a career. The fact is I don’t have a career at this time. I have lots of work behind me, but now … nothing. And no publisher is waiting for me to turn in anything.
As this stage has gone on and on I realized I’ve been derailed by many things. Not all of them my doing. We all know that the state of publishing is a mess. So this doesn’t make me want to knock myself out trying to get back on track.
I’m a writer and my natural state is to be writing. Still, knowing that probably nothing will happen to anything I write is depressing. This isn’t my imagination. I have a track record and you’re only as good as your last book. In other words, how much money you made for the publisher.
This is understandable. Publishing is a business. My career has not been a splashy one. Pretty steady though. Once I started publishing only one book of mine was rejected…never published. So it’s hard to think of writing knowing it might end up in a drawer. I’m not used to it.
Yes, I put 200 pages in a drawer a year ago, but that was by choice. I’m talking about a finished manuscript. Anyone who tells you they write for the sake of writing is either a liar or a fool.
If and when I start again, the knowledge that what I’m writing may never be published will always be with me. During most of my career I wondered, never sure I’d sell a book, but this is different.
I’m nearer to the end instead of the beginning. Or even the middle. It’s harder here.